Family Care For Children & Youth

dreamstime_xxl_38353858When a foster child is first placed in your home, there will likely be an adjustment period before he or she becomes comfortable. It takes time, after all, for people to get used to being around each other, even children and adults. Remember to show patience, and stay in contact with your agency support. Besides being patient, it will be important for you to understand any problematic behaviors you may see in order to respond appropriately.

During the adjustment period, foster children often experience emotional distress.

Many of the children entering into the foster care system have been exposed to negative circumstances and situations, such as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect or abandonment, or parent problems like a mental health issue or addiction for a few examples. Learn your foster child’s history to truly understand his or her behavior, and provide the structured, secure, and comforting home he or she deserves.

Here are some common behaviors associated with foster child placement adjustment.

Showing Physical Aggression Toward Others

Some foster children display aggressive behaviors during the adjustment period, typically aimed toward their natural or foster siblings. This aggression could be caused by many things, such as previous animosity between natural siblings or anger at having been separated from their families. The most important things to remember when dealing with an aggressive child is to model appropriate behavior and to not match aggression with aggression.

Testing Limits or Blatantly Defying Authority

If your foster children are testing the limits of your set rules, blatantly not listening, or doing the opposite of what was asked of them, they are displaying typical behaviors associated with a general sense of insecurity and uncertainty. Children in foster care often feel uncertain of the future directly after a placement, which leads to problems with authority figures. Techniques for dealing with this type of problem behavior include only giving an instruction one time, not letting yourself become upset, and enthusiastically praising good behaviors.  

Stealing

It may seem as though there is no valid “excuse” for theft, but consider stealing from your foster child’s position. He or she typically doesn’t steal with malicious intent. Instead, some foster children steal things in order to gain a sense of power or control over their lives. Other foster children may steal as a survival tactic, taking food and clothing. Dealing with theft in your home can be tricky, but it’s important to address situations such as this one without resorting to problem behaviors yourself. Avoid name calling and derogatory comments, and remember not to take it personally.

Lying

If your foster child is lying to you often, consider the reason behind it. Common causes of lying behaviors include to imitate adult behavior, not wanting to be a disappointment, to get attention, to avoid being punished, or to avoid a stressful situation. Some children lie simply because they are conditioned to do so by their previous circumstances. Pay attention to the lies your foster child is telling, when he or she is telling them, and what the purpose of the lying is.

What we must remember is that the foster children exhibiting many of these problematic behaviors have been through a lot. We can’t give up on these kids. Contact Family Care For Children & Youth to become a foster parent or to get any of your questions regarding foster care answered.

At Family Care for Children & Youth, all case managers have a minimum of a bachelor’s degree and have received training in Choice Theory/Reality Therapy. Case managers also complete a number of additional training programs throughout the course of each year.

The mission of Family Care for Children & Youth, Inc. is to be the best social service agency committed to providing an excellent standard of care and culturally competent services while communicating compassion, empathy, and hope for the future.

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Testimonials

They care about the children and are very thorough

My husband and I always tell people that talk to us about wanting to foster or adopt about our agency.  We enjoy working with this agency because the staff not only care about the careful p…Read More

Alice Cedrone

We enjoy giving back

Fostering is very positive experience not only for ourselves but also for the child’s well-being.  We enjoy giving back. Providing a loving, nurturing home to a child gives the child an o…Read More

Millie Flores

We would recommend FCCY

Picking FCCY to work with has been the best thing my husband and I could have done. We have had only positive experiences with this agency. The case managers are so good and give you total s…Read More

P. Kyler

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